CLEARRLY Recovering - Blog #9
One of the things about getting into recovery at an older age is realizing things aren’t the same as when I started my addiction. The simple fact is, the last time I was fully aware of the world (on the world’s terms,) I was much younger.
There’s no greater example of this than my relationship with my body. My body and I have a very love-hate relationship. I love the fact that I have a body, but I hate to see what it’s doing to itself and to me. We have gotten into some pretty heated discussions, as of late. I think I have figured out the rub; we are looking at the world through two different lenses. My lens says that my body should react exactly like it did before I spent three decades abusing it. My body’s lens says that I’m an idiot.
Here is an actual transcript from an argument that we got into just this week:
Me: I think we should get into shape!
Body: Here in the Arby’s drive-thru?
Me: No, at a gym.
Body: Aren’t you afraid we’ll spill fries on their nice rowing machine?
Me: No, I’m talking about an entire change of living. Talking about getting you into some 32-inch Jordache jeans, throwing on a members-only jacket, and hitting a mall so everyone can ogle our goods.
Body: We don’t have any “goods.” We have six “averages,” two, “that’s disappointing,” and one, “I think that’s going to fall off soon.”
Me: I don’t think it’s going to fall off!
Body: I’m not going to argue with you. Let’s just do what we planned: go to Nebraska Furniture Mart, pretend to shop, and nap in the recliners.
Me: You realized we pulled a groin muscle while brushing our teeth this morning!?
Body: You were too aggressive with the bicuspids.
Me: No more arguing. We are going to start being nice to each other. I’m taking you to the gym.
Body: Ok, but we either have to go naked or in this year’s Christmas pajamas, because nothing else fits.
Clearly, in addiction, we abuse the body. Between the naivety of youth and the bulletproof feeling ascribed to us by various substances, we lose sight of the fact that this is our body. We depend on this body; we need this body. It is a life support system for our minds and spirits and, ultimately, the deciding factor in our ability to serve in certain ways.
The most significant part of my recovery has been becoming part of a body.
“Together you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of that body.”
1 Corinthians 12:27
It is no understatement to say that I would not be here had I not become involved with that body. It is my responsibility to help support that body, to be kind to that body, to know my place in that body, and to realize that I am no more important than any other part of that body.
In recovery, maybe more than in any other place, that body becomes a life support system for more than my mind and my spirit; it is the place that teaches me how to support others’ minds and spirits. Paths to recovery are as vast and varied as the people on them, and mine led to Christ. Now, He directs my path when I let Him.
Prayers for those that are reading this, those that are suffering, those that are seeing the devastating loss of addiction. There is a way out…reach for the hand on the body.
And remember, I can affect my today, I can allow God to mold my tomorrow, but even Jesus doesn’t change the past.